{"id":144,"date":"2014-03-09T22:29:00","date_gmt":"2014-03-09T22:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blog.alphawitch.com\/?p=144"},"modified":"2014-03-09T22:29:00","modified_gmt":"2014-03-09T22:29:00","slug":"the-trouble-with-giants","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.alphawitch.com\/the-trouble-with-giants\/2014\/03\/mercybleau\/","title":{"rendered":"The trouble with Giants."},"content":{"rendered":"

\n\"morningForest\"<\/a>So you\u2019ve been kidnapped. Well\u2026it happens, and things could definitely be worse. I\u2019m betting that when you oh so morbidly imagined yourself being kidnapped it never occurred to you to cast two of the most terrifying, and strangely adorable creatures for the role. And when I say adorable I mean that in a really dumb but definitely homicidal sort of way. Giants are extinct. Or are they? No one has seen one in 500 years, but hey that doesn\u2019t mean much these days. If I were a 30 foot tall, chronic over eating, dim witted  biped, I think I might find a good hide out and stay there myself. Just sayin\u2019. Boy I bet you wish you\u2019d paid attention in that extinct species class in college? Well for those of us who prefer doing rather than studying, I\u2019ve compiled a little list of interesting facts. <\/p>\n

\n1. Giants are not Extinct. (obvious I know but worth saying again.) <\/h5>\n
\n<\/h5>\n
\n2. Giants will eat anything that you put  in front of them, as long as it is meat. (Eh hem. That means they will eat you. Sorry for the sarcasm, but I needed to get your attention).<\/h5>\n
\n3.  Giants hate witch magic. It feels like an itchy rash on their backsides. So if you were planning to spell your way out of this little problem, you are in for an unpleasant surprise. <\/h5>\n
\n4. Giants sleep like the dead. This is probably the best time to plan an escape. <\/h5>\n
\n<\/h5>\n
\n5. Giants will serve anyone who feeds them. They are much like gargantuan odorous, bushy haired cats. If you feed them, they luv you luv you, luv you. If you don\u2019t, you might become dinner. <\/h5>\n
\nFind out about Mick\u2019s trouble with giants in Wolf Claimed<\/a>. <\/h6>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So you\u2019ve been kidnapped. Well\u2026it happens, and things could definitely be worse. I\u2019m betting that when you oh so morbidly imagined yourself being kidnapped it never occurred to you to cast two of the most terrifying, and strangely adorable creatures for the role. And when I say adorable I mean…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,17,14,23,16,15,7,22,19,25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-144","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-books","category-fantasy","category-fun","category-giants","category-paranormal","category-readers","category-romance","category-werevolves","category-wolves","category-writers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.alphawitch.com\/api-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/144","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.alphawitch.com\/api-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.alphawitch.com\/api-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.alphawitch.com\/api-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.alphawitch.com\/api-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=144"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blog.alphawitch.com\/api-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/144\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.alphawitch.com\/api-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=144"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.alphawitch.com\/api-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=144"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.alphawitch.com\/api-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=144"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}